I offered to visit my grandparents at their memory care community but they said they don't want to see anyone. Should I listen to their wishes? And how can I make sure they still feel loved and cherished from afar?

Asked by: Eliza Surrey |Posted on: December,18 | Viewed: 466 times


1 Answer


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You are a wonderful granddaughter for wanting to visit your loved ones and make them feel cherished during this difficult time. However, if your grandparents are in the early stages of Alzheimer's or dementia, they may be embarrassed by their forgetfulness and hesitant to open up to other family members right away. 

If they are new to their memory care community, it may be best to give them a little time to settle into their new environment before visiting. If they have been there for a while, you may want to try other options of communicating with your loved ones. Consider sending handwritten letters or dropping off little gifts (such as a music player filled with their favorite tunes). Community staff are often willing to help family members in situations such as yours, and it may make you feel better to stay updated on how they are doing while you are away. If the community has an ombudsman on staff, this individual may be a great resource for you to find out the best course of action for interacting with your grandparents in their new home. 
Understanding their position is essential to developing trust and open communication, so try not to take their reluctance for you to visit too personally. They are likely experiencing many difficult emotions at this time, and a little patience and care can go a long way toward supporting your loved ones and helping them through a difficult transition. 
If you have more questions or would like to speak to someone at Seniorly directly, you can always email us at ask@seniorly.com or call us at 415-570-4370. 
Wishing you and your family all the best. We're here if you need anything! 

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