10 Signs Your Elderly Parent Needs Help

Deciding when it's the right time for an aging parent or other family member to transition into a senior living setting is a journey filled with empathy, understanding, and sometimes, difficult conversations. It's about noticing the subtle and not-so-subtle changes in their daily lives and recognizing when home care is no longer sufficient for their needs. This decision is as much about ensuring their safety and well-being as it is about honoring their independence and quality of life. And while so many of us want to be the ones to provide care for our parents in their golden years, that's not always the best solution - for them or for us.

We've assembled a list of the most common telltale signs that your parent might need a little more help. In general, no one item signals a change on its own. However, if you find that in reviewing the list below, your loved one exhibits two or more signs, it may be time to consider an different environment which will allow them more supportive care.

Sign #1: Trouble managing finances

Elderly parents who have trouble with paying bills or managing finances may be experiencing early symptoms of cognitive decline. When it comes to understanding if your aging parent might be facing difficulties with their finances, there are several telltale signs that can signal it's time to offer help or intervene.

• Unusual spending or unpaid bills: Noticeable changes in spending habits or bills that remain unpaid can indicate challenges in managing finances.
• Overdue notices and collection calls: Frequent overdue notices or calls from collections agencies may suggest difficulties in keeping track of financial obligations.
• Confusion over personal finances: Exhibiting confusion or stress when discussing finances, struggling to understand bank statements, or managing a checking account are warning signs.
• Misplaced financial documents: Regularly losing track of important financial documents, such as bank statements, bills, or insurance policies, can be a sign of trouble organizing finances.
• Unexplained loss of money: If there are instances where money seems to disappear without explanation, or if your parent can't account for their spending, it might be time to discuss their financial management.

A note about financial scams targeting the elderly

An elderly adult who has problems with managing finances could also find themselves more vulnerable to scammers and others looking to take advantage of them. Many nefarious people count on the folks they target to be unaware, desperate, or in a hurry to free themselves from money troubles. As such, it's not uncommon for fraudsters to target older adults via insurance fraud and other scams.

Sign #2: Trouble managing personal hygiene

For aging parents, tasks that once were part of their daily routine, like personal hygiene, can gradually become more challenging. It's important to approach this sensitive area with understanding and compassion, keeping an eye out for changes that may indicate they need additional support. Here are some key signs that personal hygiene is becoming a hurdle for your aging parent, which, when noticed early, can help maintain their dignity and well-being.

• Noticeable decline in grooming habits: Skipping regular baths or showers, not brushing teeth, or neglecting hair care can indicate difficulties with personal hygiene.
• Wearing dirty clothes: Repeatedly wearing the same clothes without washing them or wearing stained or soiled clothing.
• Unpleasant body odor: An unusual or strong body odor may suggest that regular bathing or grooming routines are not being maintained.
• Neglected nail care: Overgrown, dirty, or unkempt nails can be a sign of difficulty in managing personal grooming.
• Dental issues: Signs of poor dental hygiene, such as bad breath, tooth decay, or gum disease, indicate challenges in maintaining oral health.
• Resistance to assistance: Showing reluctance or resistance when offered help with bathing, grooming, or other personal care activities.

Some elderly parents may be open to other family members helping them out with certain things at home. Others may feel more comfortable with a professional caregiver who can help them with these daily tasks. No matter what, letting your parents know that you have concerns and want to assist them - without infringing on their comfort, privacy or independence - is always a good starting point

Sign #3: Trouble managing medication

As we age, it becomes fairly common to have to manage a small pharmacy at home. Most older adults have multiple medications they need to take on a regular basis, and consistently keeping up with all of this is often easier said than done. Here are a few things that might signal increased difficulty in medication management:

• Missed doses: Frequently forgetting to take medications or taking them at the wrong times.
• Confusion about prescriptions : Mixing up medication names, dosages, timing, or purposes.
• Multiple prescriptions unmanaged: Struggling to manage a complex medication schedule involving several prescriptions.
• Expired medications: Keeping expired medications or failing to refill prescriptions on time.
• Overdue refills: Running out of medication repeatedly might signal that they are struggling to get to the pharmacy or that they are not noticing when they are running low.

Families should also consider additional avenues for an elderly person, such as using pill boxes, creating calendar alerts, and setting up a routine for their parents to get accustomed to. If you've already tried that route, a medication management expert might be another option. These professionals can help aging adults ensure their current prescriptions are providing optimal benefits as needed and answer any questions they may have.

Sign #4: Trouble taking care of the home

The upkeep of a home comes with certain physical demands that many older adults have a harder time with. This is especially true for elderly folks who struggle with flexibility, mobility, and getting around on a daily basis. If you've noticed any of the following signs, it might be time to have the talk.

• Untidy living conditions: Noticeable decline in the cleanliness and tidiness of the home, such as unattended spills, dust, or clutter.
• Deferred maintenance: Ignoring necessary home repairs, like leaky faucets, broken appliances, or malfunctioning heating and cooling systems.
• Yard neglect: Overgrown lawns, untrimmed hedges, and untended gardens indicating a lack of routine outdoor maintenance.
• Signs of hoarding: Accumulating unnecessary items to the point where living spaces are unusable.
• Piling laundry: Accumulating dirty laundry or rarely seeing the person in clean clothes, indicating challenges with completing laundry tasks.

Sign #5: Trouble keeping up with friends and hobbies

Older people who begin to pull back from friendships and hobbies they once loved should have family members who are willing to step in and be there for them. Sometimes this kind of change is indicative of a gradual decline in mobility, while other times it can signal something more serious, such as depression or other mental health issues.

• Withdrawal from social gatherings: Noticeably pulling back from previously social events, clubs, or gatherings they used to enjoy.
• Loss of interest in hobbies: Letting go of hobbies or activities that were once a source of joy and engagement, signaling a change in interests or ability to participate.
• Decreased communication: Less frequent phone calls, texts, or emails to family and friends.
• Expressing feelings of isolation: Sharing feelings of loneliness or being disconnected from others.
• Skipping routine social activities: Missing regular meetings, such as book clubs, exercise classes, or religious services, without clear reasons, pointing to potential difficulties in maintaining social routines.

One of the reasons Seniorly is so supportive of structured senior living is that it provides essential opportunities for socialization. While it could be indicative of an issue requiring medical help, the older adult in your life may simply need transportation assistance or other mobility-focused resources. Either way, withdrawal from friends and hobbies is always a red flag that an adult child should speak with their parent about.

Sign #6: Trouble with falls and unexplained injuries

Challenges with balance, mobility, and flexibility sometimes arrive with age. Unfortunately, these issues can also pose safety hazards to older adults. Recognizing these signs early can be crucial in addressing underlying health issues, improving home safety, and ensuring the well-being of our aging family members.

• Unexplained bruises or injuries: Finding bruises or injuries without a clear explanation, which could indicate falls or accidents at home.
• Frequent falls: Hearing about or witnessing more frequent falls, suggesting issues with mobility or balance.
• Reluctance to discuss how injuries occurred: Showing reluctance or changing the subject when asked about the origins of injuries or bruises.
• Wearing long sleeves or pants in inappropriate weather: Dressing in a way that seems intended to cover up bruises or injuries, even when it's not weather-appropriate.
• Slow healing wounds: Noticing that cuts, bruises, or other injuries seem to take longer to heal than they should.

If your parent is older in age and has unexplained bruises or injuries on their body, support from loved ones is absolutely imperative. Ask if they've had any accidents around the house lately. Physical health concerns like cuts, scratches, and scrapes on the body are a big deal. Any injuries and bruises on older adults constitute safety issues that need to be handled as smoothly and quickly as possible. Even if your parent isn't comfortable with full-on assisted living, talking with them about the benefits of in-home care or daily living support from other relatives is highly recommended.

Sign #7: Trouble with mobility

Navigating the changes that come with aging can often mean facing new challenges with mobility. When simple movements become hurdles, and the freedom to move with ease starts to diminish, it's a sign that our loved ones may need extra support. Here are a few telltale signs that your loved one might be struggling with mobility:

• Difficulty standing up from a seated position: Struggling to rise from chairs or sofas, possibly needing multiple attempts or assistance.
• Unsteady walking: Observing an unsteady gait or the need to hold onto walls, furniture, or other objects for support while walking.
• Avoiding stairs: Showing reluctance or inability to use stairs, opting for elevators or avoiding locations with stair access altogether.
• Using furniture for support: Frequently leaning on or using furniture to navigate around the house, indicating challenges with balance and stability.
• Increased use of assistive devices: Starting to use or increasing reliance on canes, walkers, or other mobility aids to move around.
• Hesitation over uneven surfaces: Demonstrating caution or avoidance of uneven ground, thresholds, or small steps, suggesting a fear of falling.
• Changes in outdoor activities: Reducing or stopping outdoor activities like walking or gardening that were previously enjoyed, possibly due to mobility issues.
• Pausing after standing up: Taking a moment to find their balance after standing up from a sitting position, indicating difficulty with balance stabilization.

Sign #8: Trouble with eating and nutrition

As we age, maintaining a healthy relationship with food and nutrition becomes increasingly important - but also more complicated. From changes in appetite to the physical challenges of meal preparation, there are numerous signs that may indicate an older adult is struggling with eating and nutrition.

• Loss of appetite: Showing less interest in meals or eating significantly less than usual, which could indicate underlying health issues or decreased sense of taste and smell.
• Difficulty chewing or swallowing: Struggling with chewing or swallowing food, which may be due to dental problems or medical conditions affecting the throat or esophageal muscles.
• Unintended weight loss or gain: Experiencing significant changes in weight without trying, which could signal nutritional deficiencies or overeating due to emotional factors.
• Skipping meals: Regularly skipping meals or relying heavily on snacks or convenience foods instead of balanced meals.
• Expired or spoiled food in the home: Keeping food that is past its expiration date or spoiled, indicating a lack of attention to food quality and safety.
• Reliance on processed or pre-packaged meals: Increasing dependence on processed foods high in sodium and preservatives, which can be detrimental to health.
• Confusion about meal times or food preparation: Exhibiting confusion or difficulty with the routine of meal preparation, suggesting cognitive challenges or physical difficulties in cooking.

Sign #9: Trouble with dressing

As we age, everyday tasks that were once performed without a second thought, like getting dressed in the morning, can gradually become more challenging. Whether it's the fine motor skills required to handle buttons and zippers or the cognitive tasks involved in selecting appropriate attire, these changes can signal a need for additional support.

• Struggling with buttons and zippers: Having trouble manipulating small fasteners, which may indicate issues with dexterity or fine motor skills.
• Choosing inappropriate clothing: Wearing clothes that are not suitable for the weather or occasion, possibly due to confusion or difficulty in making decisions.
• Taking longer than usual to get dressed: Spending an excessive amount of time getting ready, which can suggest difficulties with planning, sequencing, or executing the task.
• Wearing the same clothes repeatedly: Lacking variety in clothing choices or wearing the same outfit for several days, hinting at challenges with laundry or decision-making.
• Avoiding certain types of clothing: Shying away from clothes that are difficult to put on or take off, like those with tight fits or many fasteners, indicating a need for simpler, more accessible attire.
• Seeking assistance to get dressed: Needing help with getting dressed when previously independent, showing a decrease in physical ability or confidence.

Sign #10: Trouble with driving

Recognizing when it might be time to hang up the car keys for good is a pivotal moment in anyone's life, especially as we age. Various signs can indicate that our ability to drive safely is diminishing, from changes in our physical and cognitive capacities to the feedback we receive from passengers.

• Avoiding driving at night: Experiencing discomfort or difficulty seeing in low light conditions, leading to a preference or necessity to avoid driving after dark, can be a clear sign that driving capabilities are changing.
• Frequent close calls or minor accidents: Experiencing more "near misses" or minor collisions can indicate a decline in driving abilities, reaction times, or judgement on the road.
• Delayed reaction times: If you notice that your reactions to traffic changes, pedestrians, or other drivers are slower than they used to be, it could compromise your safety and that of others on the road.
• Trouble with lane changes and merging: Difficulty in judging distance and timing when changing lanes or merging could lead to dangerous situations on the road.
• "Feedback" from other drivers: If frequent honking is part of your loved one's daily drives, it's probably a sign that their driving isn't up to standard.

When adult children notice signs that an aging parent may be struggling with daily living activities, it's crucial to carefully consider the next steps. 

• Consult with your parent's primary care provider: Before making any significant decisions, it's always good to connect with your parent's primary care provider. With your parent's consent and involvement (of course), it's good to make sure that anything your'e noticing that is concerning is not related to an undiagnosed condition.
• Add assistive technology and other supports to the house: Implementing devices and making home modifications can greatly enhance safety and independence. From simple tools like grab bars and non-slip mats to more advanced technologies like a medical alert system, these adjustments can significantly improve their daily life.
• Gather a support team to assist: Creating a team comprising family, friends, and volunteers can provide essential help with tasks like grocery shopping, transportation, and other errands. This support network can alleviate some of the challenges your loved one faces, ensuring they have regular interaction and assistance when needed.
• Bring in in-home care: Professional in-home care services can offer personalized assistance, ranging from a few hours a week to round-the-clock care. These caregivers can help with activities of daily living, medication management, meal preparation, and companionship, providing a level of care that might not be possible to achieve alone.
• Work with a geriatric care manager: Geriatric care managers are professionals who specialize in assessing the needs of the elderly and coordinating care and services to meet those needs. They can be invaluable in navigating the complex landscape of elder care, offering guidance on making informed decisions and connecting with the right resources.
• Consider senior living: For those who require more support than can be provided at home, senior living options such as assisted living, skilled nursing, or memory care facilities offer specialized care and social opportunities in a safe environment. Each type of facility caters to different levels of care needs, from minimal assistance to intensive medical and personal care.

Deciding on the best course of action involves careful consideration of your loved one's current needs, their future health trajectory, and their personal preferences. Open and honest discussions with your parent, along with consultations with healthcare professionals, can help you make an informed decision that ensures their health, safety, and happiness.